Why Tourists Struggle to Get Service in France (And How to Fix It)
You sit down, excited for your first real French café experience. You wait. And wait. No water. No menu. The waiter walks by like you don’t exist. Is this personal? Do they hate tourists? What’s going on?
Welcome to France, where service plays by different rules. Here’s why it feels so different – and how to make sure you don’t get the cold shoulder.
You Didn’t Say Bonjour (And That’s a Big Deal)
In France, skipping a greeting is like skipping the opening credits of a movie – you miss the setup, and now everything feels off. The moment you walk in, you’re expected to say Bonjour, Madame/Monsieur. If you don’t, you might as well be invisible.
Say bonjour before anything else. Every. Single. Time.
Waiters Don’t Hover (And That’s a Good Thing)
Unlike in the U.S. or UK, where servers check in constantly, French waiters assume you want to be left alone. They won’t ask if you’re “still working on that” or refill your water every five minutes. It’s not necessarily bad service, it’s respect for your space.
Need something? Make eye contact, give a slight nod, or raise a finger. No need to wave or snap (unless you want to be ignored longer).
The Customer Isn’t King Here
In many parts of France, it’s a seller’s market. Whether you’re renting an apartment, booking a table, or even trying to get a taxi, demand often outstrips supply. Many businesses don’t need to chase customers, they already have plenty. This means service can feel indifferent, and the power dynamic is different from what American and British travelers are used to.
In France, you often need to prove you’re a desirable customer. Be polite, patient, and take your turn!
Ordering Like an American Confuses the System
You want your salad dressing on the side? Half-decaf oat milk with a shot of vanilla? That’s cute. French menus are designed as they are for a reason, and asking for changes will get you a firm non.
Stick to the menu. If you have dietary needs, phrase it as a question: Est-ce possible sans fromage ? (Is it possible without cheese?)
Restaurants Aren’t in a Hurry
You’re ready to leave, but where’s the check? News flash: it’s not coming until you ask. Unlike in the U.S., where waiters drop the bill to speed things up, in France, your table is yours until you signal otherwise.
So when you’re ready, just say L’addition, s’il vous plaît (the bill, please). No awkward waiting required.
You Sat Down at a Café Without Checking the Rules
Not all café tables are the same. Some are reserved for full meals, others for drinks only. Sit in the wrong spot and you might get ignored until you move. Or, a waiter might ask you to move – sometimes quite bluntly.
If unsure, ask before sitting: Est-ce que c’est possible de prendre un café ici ? (Can I have a coffee here?)
Why French Servers Don’t Smile (And Why That’s Normal)

American and British tourists often expect friendly banter and constant grins from servers. In France, service is professional, not performative. A neutral expression isn’t rudeness – it’s just how things are done.
Don’t take it personally. If your server isn’t chatty, it doesn’t mean they dislike you. It’s just a different style of hospitality.
You Tried to Pay With a Huge Bill
France isn’t big on large cash transactions. Try paying for a €2 espresso with a €50 note, and you’ll get an eye roll (or outright refusal).
Carry smaller bills and coins for small purchases.
Final Thought
French service isn’t always rude (though it does happen, especially in Paris), it’s different. Once you crack the code, you’ll never take rushed, overbearing service for granted again. And when in doubt? Just say bonjour.